Sirius Black: The reporter
by Max6
Summary: This is Siriuss quest to try to ask the most embarassing and weird questions to his friends, family and professor...and maybe some animals too...(dont ask, just read).
1. Age 6

What you wanted to know about anything.   
  
By Sirius Black..  
  
It was a happy day at the Black's house because it was the birthday of one of the Black's kids, in fact it was their perfect little gentleman's birthday, so as expected from such a well respected family a lot of the Wizarding world's most important persons were invited, as well as the family.  
  
Everybody was already there, well…except for a tinny exception, the birthday boy's brother, this little boy's name was Sirius Black, and this name didn't describe this little person's personality at all, in fact it was the exact opposite. Sirius was a six years old, he had shabby black hair an   
  
bright –with a mischievous glint- eyes, that also came with a mischievous smile. He was now in his bedroom, grounded. Again. This time it was because without meaning to, he closed the bathroom door in the middle of his brother's pet snake.  
  
He still remembered after the incident the argument that he had with his mother as if it was just yesterday, as a matter of fact it had just happened yesterday.  
  
*FLASHBACK*   
  
"Sirius Black! Shame of my flesh! How could you decapitate your brother's pet snake?"  
  
"It wasn't my fault, I was in the bathroom and I saw her in her way in but she wasn't inside yet so I closed the door and she moved fast and…and…and well she kind of lost her head and died."  
  
"It was your fault! How many times have I told you not to use the toilet without closing the door?"  
  
"A lot." He said looking at his feet.  
  
"Then who's fault was it?"  
  
"Mine…but mother, I was trying to imitate aunt Elladora!"  
  
*END OF FLASHBACK*  
  
Now, this boy was really bright for his age, he knew how to write, read and all that stuff, and the most important thing is that Sirius has the biggest imagination for ideating pranks, not a good thing for this family. Now he was looking at the mirror.  
  
`I have to do something…I know!. I'll be Sirius Black: The reporter.´…That sounds good… I'm going to ask questions to those people I'm related to but I'll have to hide from Mom, Dad and Regulus.´  
  
He took a notebook and a never-ending quill and tiptoed outside, he could hear people talking, and he heard things like: "…and people should burn those bloody muggles, like they tried to do with witches…". He started to gag, `suckers´, he heard someone else gagging and saw is eleven year old and favourite cousin, Andromeda.  
  
"Hey Andy!". Whispered Sirius waving from behind a plant.  
  
"Hey Siri!". She whispered back. "Aren't you supposed to be grounded?"  
  
"Yep, but who cares?"  
  
"Sorry, for a moment I forgot who was I speaking to…"He smiled sheepishly from behind the plant.  
  
"Oh no! I know that smile, why are you risking getting caught?". Andromeda asked looking at him having a sneaking suspicion that he was planning something.  
  
"Nothing…". Sirius said looking at his small feet.  
  
"Siri?…"  
  
"I'm playing reporter."  
  
"That's it?".   
  
"Yep. Wanna be my first interview?"  
  
"All right, but can we go somewhere else? I don't like looking like I'm talking to a plant…"  
  
"Okay, let's go to my bedroom."  
  
They went to his bedroom, it's walls were sky blue and it had a bed, a small table with some drawings and a chair next to it, a dresser and some toys in the floor, next to dirty clothes.  
  
Andromeda seated at the end of Sirius's bed and he took the chair.  
  
"Here we go, first question: Do you know why our family are named after stars?, seriously…so many things to name us after…for example: flower, dog breeds, Latin names, imagine! I could be Fabio and you…Lolita!"  
  
"There's no way I'm using the name Lolita!…Fabio…and I don't know why we are named after stars, but I definitely prefer star names than dog breeds."  
  
"So tell me, what are you going to call your future daughter or son? Lyra or Cygnus?"  
  
"mmm…how about Nymphadora or Saiph?"  
  
"Is Nymphadora even a star?". He asked picking his nose.  
  
"eww!…Sirius that's disgusting! And I suppose it's a star, if it isn't who cares?". She said while looking at Sirius disgustingly.  
  
"For one your husband. And you know that she's gonna want people to call her by her last name? …at least that's what normal people would do…"   
  
"And I prey for her to not be like you…well in some aspects…"  
  
"Because I'm a nice kid?". He asked hopefully.  
  
"Yeah Siri, that's why…". Andromeda answered while patting his head, he was looking at her quizzically.  
  
"I'm not a dog Andy…".He whined. "Now one last question: WHY Nymphadora? C'mon!!  
  
"Argh!!!". She left running.   
  
"You still are my favourite cousin!". He called after her grinning.  
  
"Oh, poor sister of mine…".Said a voice, and pretty girl with long black hair and blue eyes about 8 years old entered to Sirius's bedroom.  
  
"How are you Bella?". He said thru gritted teeth still remembering the time when Bellatrix along with his brother Regulus started a fire in his father's study…he was the one that took the blame, that was on of the worst punishments he had ever received. He shrugged off the thought.  
  
"Fine, well a little bored of all this old people that are downstairs, they don't stop pinching my cheeks." And she was right, her cheeks were very red.  
  
"So you had to come here and visit your cousin?" He asked sarcastically.  
  
"Actually, I was looking for my sister Narcissa, I want her to tell me stories about Hogwarts."  
  
"Why don't you ask Andromeda?"  
  
"Because she's going to be a blood traitor like you, I know it, she didn't even get into Slytherin, she got in Ravenclaw."  
  
"Can I ask you some questions? I'm playing reporter."  
  
"Let me think about it…Nope."  
  
"Please? Or do you prefer old people pinching your cheeks?"  
  
"Okay, I'll do it." She said quickly.  
  
"First question: Do you know that if you keep hating muggles and you do anything bad at them you could end up in Azkaban?"  
  
"I won't let people see me then, easy." She said smirking.  
  
"Next question: What do you think about Rodolphus Lestrange… I know that when you see him you always blush." He said, now smirking at his cousin's face.  
  
"You're lying." She said blushing.  
  
"No, I'm not."  
  
"Yes, you are."  
  
"No, I'm not."  
  
"What do you know little midget?"  
  
"Hey!, I'm not a midget." He said offended.  
  
"Yes, you are."  
  
"No, I'm not!."  
  
"Yes, you are and you're also a baby." She said sticking out her tongue.  
  
"Oh, and you are so big, you're only two years older than me…sorry to bring you down."  
  
"Argh! Someday I'll kill you!"  
  
"Yeah…just try you big girl…" He said sarcastically while looking at his nails.  
  
"Argh!!". She left running.  
  
"He, he, one down, a lot to go…" `now I have to find Narcissa…where can she be?´  
  
He went downstairs and from behind a plant he observed the party, a lot of people were there, he could see a lot that he didn't know, until he saw him…the most hateful person in the world…at least for him, his name was Severus Snape, he was boy his age with greasy black hair, there was one time when his mother invited Severus to his house to play with him, at first he was a really shy boy, but then he started to comment his thoughts about muggles and the thing ended in a big fight. Now Snape was using his most hatred look, the one he saved specially for him on another person, he looked around and found him, a boy also his age but with messy black hair and hazel eyes behind round glasses, he was looking at Severus with a pure hatred look also.  
  
"Mummy can we go now?". He asked tugging at his mother's sleeve.  
  
"Not yet James." She answered.  
  
`Oh no! I forgot about Narcissa I have to go!´. So Sirius left to the Hall area. `Now that she wasn't there I have to go look for my camera, I might get some blackmail material.´ He went for his camera, then he went opening each of the doors until he found what he wanted, smirking he started to take pictures of his cousin Narcissa without her shirt and a boy, a really blonde boy kissing her, they stopped after hearing the tenth clicking sound.   
  
Narcissa looked around and screamed "Sirius!!!"  
  
He left running to his bedroom, he quickly hided his camera, the door banged open and a very flushed Narcissa appeared, her blond hair clashing horribly with her red face, by her side was the very blonde guy looking flushed also.  
  
"Hullo Narcy…and you are?". He added looking at the very blonde guy.  
  
"What? You don't know me?".  
  
"I only know you as the guy who was playing Birds and bees with my cousin."  
  
"B-but you HAVE to know me"  
  
"Nope, I definitely don't know you."  
  
"Aren't you interested at least in knowing me?"  
  
"The truth?…nah.."  
  
"How can you don't know me?". He asked, this time in the verge of tears.  
  
"I don't know, and since I don't know your name I'll just call you Albino kid."  
  
"I'm Malfoy, Lucius Malfoy." He said proudly.  
  
Sirius smirked.  
  
"Well Malfoy Lucius Malfoy what do you want?"  
  
"I'll tell you what I want you little-". Narcissa tried to grab Sirius's neck but Lucius stopped her.  
  
"Now, now Narcissa, let me handle this." Said Lucius looking at her, he turned around and faced Sirius.  
  
"Now, little boy-"  
  
"Sirius."  
  
"Well, Sirius. Can you give me those photos back? Please?". He asked sweetly disgustingly.  
  
"Nope."  
  
"What do you want then?". He snapped.  
  
"mmm…let me think…". He tapped his chin with his finger. "I know! I want an interview with both of you."  
  
"Okay then."  
  
"First question: Do you know that if you have a kid he'll be too blonde?"  
  
"Yes." They both said with painful smiles.  
  
He looked at the suspiciously. "No! you`re doing it wrong! You have to think the answers, sorry I forgot…I'm talking to two blondes."  
  
"Sirius give me the camera!". Screamed Narcissa.  
  
"No!"  
  
"Give me it!"  
  
"No! I'll never surrender!". He left running, and stopped when he arrived at the door.   
  
"Bye Narcy, bye Albino kid." He started to run again, he entered to the first door he could find, it was a guest room with two beds a portrait of a man.  
  
"Sirius! What are you doing here?". The man in the portrait asked.  
  
"Please Phineas don't tell them that I'm here." And he dived under the bed. He waited for a while and nobody came so he got bored…  
  
"Phineas?"  
  
"Yes Sirius?". Phineas said with a bored tone.  
  
"Can I ask you some questions?"  
  
"I'm free, so ask."  
  
"You were headmaster in Hogwarts, weren't you?"  
  
"Yes, I was and I'm proud to say that I was the least popular one."  
  
"How much time were you the headmaster?"  
  
"I only lasted for a year."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because Hogwarts is full of teenagers that don't know what they want…if you want to help them, they don't want your help, if you don't give them help at the end they wanted help…and they shout a lot also."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Compressed anger, I expect."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I don't know."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because."  
  
"Because what?"  
  
"Just because." Phineas said exasperated. Sirius looked at him quizzically from under the bed.   
  
"I don't get it."  
  
"Argh!!". And Phineas image disappeared.  
  
"He must have went to his portrait at Hogwarts." Said Sirius with a smirk, he heard a noise and dived under the bed again, the door banged open, someone entered, closed it and screamed then the door opened again and Sirius could see the Albino kid.  
  
"You're okay now Nancy?"  
  
"Don't call me that! And yes I'm okay now, it's just that little kids, especially that one stress me."  
  
"Oh." They went out and Sirius left his hiding place to the party, he saw the person he wanted, his brother Regulus, he was talking to Snape and both of them were looking repulsively at the boy with messy black hair, James, he waited until Snape left and went to talk to Regulus.  
  
"Hello brother."  
  
"What are you doing here?" . He asked hissing.  
  
"Just wanted to wish you a happy birthday.". He said casually.  
  
"You just did, now leave my party or I'll call mother."  
  
"Can I ask you some questions first?"  
  
"But hurry I don't want people to see me with you?"  
  
"Why don't you look up to me like the rest of younger brothers?"  
  
"Because that was the first thing mother told me not to do."  
  
"Why do you hate muggles?"  
  
"Because mother told me that they have bugs and are smelly."  
  
"Has she ever showed you any proof?"  
  
"No…but she's my mother and I believe her, besides she loves me more." He said sticking out his tongue.  
  
"Very mature…one last question, what are you going to do to that kid over there?". He asked pointing at James.  
  
"The Potter kid? Well I think that both of you could be friends, mother says that all the Potters are blood traitors, but we had to invite them because the are a really important family in the wizarding community."  
  
"You avoided my question. What are you going to do to him?"   
  
"Me? Nothing…". Regulus answered innocently.  
  
"Okay, then what's Snape going to do to him?"  
  
"Oh, you should have asked that first." He said smirking.  
  
"What?!"   
  
"He's going to throw the punch on him."  
  
Sirius turned around and saw Snape a few inches from James with a bowl of punch in his hands, he went running and pushed Snape, the punch bowl went flying and fell in…Regulus. Sirius looked at James, he looked surprised and muttered a "Thanks." And the both broke the silence that was now in the party, rolling in the floor with laughter and Regulus, coming out of his shock started to cry, his mother went to him, like everybody else and tried to make him stop crying.   
  
"I think you should run now." Said James looking at Sirius.  
  
"Yeah, I'll hide in a room, do you want to come with me?"  
  
"Sure."   
  
"By the way, I'm Sirius Black." He said sticking out his little hand.  
  
"James Potter." He took Sirius's hand and both of them smiled.  
  
They went to one of the rooms and started to talk.  
  
"So I guess you're the white sheep of the Black family hu?"  
  
"You just noticed?" Said Sirius grinning.  
  
"I thought that all the Black family were bad."  
  
"Well most of them, me, my cousin Andromeda and an uncle are the only ones that don't hate muggles."  
  
"Oh." Suddenly from inside James robes came a muffled "James", he took a mirror from there.  
  
"Hi mom."  
  
"Hi sweetie, where are you?"  
  
"With Sirius hiding."  
  
"Oh my, darling we have to go, tell Sirius to go to bed and to stay there, one of his days I'll talk with his mother to see if he can go play to our house, she won't say no, we're the Potters."  
  
"Okay mom."  
  
"That was wicked." Said Sirius impressed.  
  
"Yeah, I know, now mommy said that you should go to bed."  
  
"Yeah, I'll wait until the morning for my punishment, say thanks to your mom…she sounds nice."  
  
"Bye Sirius, it was nice to meet you." Said James looking at Sirius sadly.  
  
"Bye James, nice to meet you too." And James left, Sirius went to his bedroom and fell asleep, happy because he had made a new friend.  
  
Sirius woke up in the morning with his mother screaming.  
  
"SIRIUS BLACK!!! Wake up now!!!"  
  
"What mother?" He asked sleepily.  
  
"How could you that to your brother yesterday?"  
  
"It was his and Severus's fault."  
  
"Don't say non sense."  
  
"It's true, they were planning a prank to…the Potter kid." He didn't want his mother to find out that he was his friend.  
  
"I don't believe you, now you're grounded for a month, you can't go to your cousin's house."  
  
"Yes mother…mother? Can I ask you some questions?"  
  
"About?"  
  
"Life." She glared at him.  
  
"Three questions."  
  
"Have you ever consider a face lift?"  
  
"Is that a muggle thing?"   
  
"No, of course not, next question: are you sure I'm not adopted?" He asked hopefully.  
  
"I'm sure, shame of my flesh, you hurt like hell."  
  
"I didn't want to hear that, did you went to school with Salazar Slytherin?  
  
"Do you think I'm that old?" She asked glaring at him.  
  
"close to…Okay! Let's change the topic!"  
  
"Sirius Black! You're grounded for two months!"  
  
"Fine!" He said with his arms crossed over his chest.  
  
"Fine!". She slammed the door closed, a muffled sound came from it a red puddle started to appear, to shouts sounded at the same time.  
  
"Mother, my new snake escaped!"  
  
"Mother, I think you should come to my room again, I think you killed something!" Shouted Sirius with laughter in his voice.   
  
  
  
  
  
REVIEW PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
A/N: This story has been writen by two brilliant authors (Max6 and Joy Lupin)  
  
Disclaimer: We love Sirius...but we don`t own him, we love James...but we don`t own him, well in conclution we love all the Marauders -except for the bloody rat (who we don`t consider a Marauder)- but we don`t own them. We hate all the characters in this story except for Sirius, Andromeda, James, James`s mom and Snape. Kind of.  
  
By now we think that you must have noticed that all the stuff we wrote above was pointless because at the end wath we were trying to say was that we don`t own any of this characters since J.K Rowling does. And if you don`t know who J.K Rowling is, well...where have you been? Uranus? (And if you don`t know her we also think that you`re pathetic. 


	2. Age 17

What you wanted to know about anything.   
  
By Sirius Black .  
  
PART 2  
  
It was a normal -as normal as it could be at Hogwarts- day, our favourites characters   
  
are in their last year, and in this moment they were in History of Magic.  
  
The first Marauder, James Potter was admiring lovingly at his girlfriend Lily Evans,   
  
who was taking notes, the second Marauder, Remus Lupin was also taking notes,   
  
the third one Peter Pettigrew was trying -key word "trying"- to take notes and the   
  
fourth Marauder...Sirius Black, well he was looking at all his friends disgustingly.  
  
`It's time...yeah...it's time for me to do what I started when I was six years old...It's   
  
time for him to come back...everything has been to quiet lately...it's time for `Sirius   
  
Black: the reporter´ to come back.´  
  
"Ha,ha,ha". (evil laugh)  
  
"Black! what are you laughing at?" Professor Binns asked sending Sirius a glare.  
  
"Sorry, Professor" He said, not even paying attention to the professor and writing on   
  
his parchment furiously.  
  
The bell rang, all the class got up and left the classroom, Sirius being the first one.  
  
"Moony where's Padfoot?" Asked James, his arm around Lily's waist.   
  
"Don't know Prongs, maybe he wanted to...well I don't know...after all he's Padfoot"  
  
"Moony can you lend me your notes?" Whined Peter.  
  
"How thick can you be Wormtail?" Asked James  
  
Meanwhile at the 7th year boys room Sirius was looking at himself in the mirror...and   
  
also talking to his image.  
  
"You'll be the first person that I'll interview, just because you're...me!" He said   
  
with a notebook with a padfoot print in his hands.  
  
"You're really losing it this time Black. Did you know it?". The mirror said  
  
"Damn, I forgot to put the spell so the mirror has my beautiful personality." And he   
  
muttered an incantation, the mirror glowed for a few seconds and this time Sirius's image   
  
said: "Hello beautiful"  
  
"Perfect! Now I'll ask you some questions."  
  
"Who wouldn't want that?" Sirius's image asked grinning.  
  
"Okay, first question: How can you be so beautiful?"  
  
"I don't know, it just comes naturally...and I don't even use hair care products!"  
  
"If that's how I look lying I have to practice a lot..."  
  
"Next question?" The image asked blushing  
  
"Oh...mmm...yes! I know!. Did you ever thought about being an underwear model?"  
  
"Well...yeah but then I realized that the world isn't prepared for seeing Sirius Black in   
  
underwear yet"  
  
"Now that I think about it, it's true..." Said Sirius biting the tip of his quill not   
  
realizing that his mouth was now blue.  
  
"Siri darling you're making me look bad."  
  
"Sorry...It's just that now you got me thinking...what I'm going to be after Hogwarts.   
  
I'll come back later...bye." And he left muttering.  
  
"Bye"  
  
`I'll think about that later...now I have to worry about who is going to be my next   
  
victim...I know!´ He wrote in his notebook: `Interview to Minerva "Minnie" McGonagall´.  
  
He went to McGonagall classroom. She saw him.  
  
"Black! what do you want now? I'm not lending you my tartan bag again...it still smells   
  
like a Hippogriff" She snapped.  
  
"Minnie...no need to get angry, I just wanted to ask you some questions"  
  
"Please Black, I would be grateful if you don't call me Minnie". She said like talking   
  
to a five year old.  
  
"Okay Min, first question: How old are you?"  
  
"Old enough.  
  
"Let's specify..."  
  
"No, and if you want me to answer this foolish questions, ask the next one."  
  
"Okay...okay, I'll just put between 85 and 90 years old."  
  
"Black! next question!"  
  
"Now...open your Scottish heart and tell me, what do you think of Albie?"  
  
"Erm...well...he's kind...a-and friendly...a-and hmgfkdh..."She said blushing furiously.  
  
"Sorry, didn't get that, but I'll just put cute"  
  
"Black!...and who told you that I'm Scottish?"  
  
"Intuition Minnie...intuition..."  
  
"Black!"  
  
"Next question: Why for your animagus form you chosed a cat? didn't you know that they   
  
are easy to kill?" `Ha! Who's superior now uh?´  
  
For a second Minerva looked scared but she quickly came up with an answer...  
  
"Did you know that cats have nine lives?"  
  
"Interesting...Do you have a nickname? Is it Pussy?"  
  
"Black!!! Out now!"  
  
"Okay...okay..." He left snickering.  
  
`Next interview: Rubeus Hagrid´  
  
He arrived to Hagrid`s hut, he knocked twice and heard a lot of noise, like broken glass,  
  
something scratching the wood, a chair falling and something meowing.   
  
Hagrid opened the door flushed.   
  
"Hullo Sirius"  
  
"Hello Hagrid, may I come in?" He didn't wait for an answer, he just entered.  
  
"Wha` `re you lookin` fo`?"  
  
"I just wanted to ask you some questions, could you answer them for me?"  
  
"Sure, sit down, I'll make some tea and `ere you have some biscuits, made `em myself"  
  
"Sirius Black doesn't say no to food, but first the questions."  
  
"Okay, shoot then..."  
  
"First question: Are you breeding anything illegal lately?"  
  
"Erm...mmm...n-no of course not". In that moment a weird noise came from under the bed,   
  
Sirius looked that way jumping from his seat.  
  
"Okaayyyy....next question: is your secret ambition to be a cooker?"  
  
"Dunno, maybe, why don't you try on of my biscuits and tell me if they are good?"  
  
"Okay!". He tried one, tried to chew it, well in fact he was trying to open his mouth   
  
that was stuck...when he finally opened his mouth he gave Hagrid a smile...Hagrid`s face   
  
changed...  
  
"Emm...Sirius I think you should go to the infirmary ...I think you have a tooth missing"  
  
"What?!! Aggh! Now I can't be a tooth model either!". He went running to the hospital wing,  
  
when he arrived Madam Pompfrey looked at him and sighted.  
  
"Hearing voices again Mr.Black?, you know I told you that before going to bed you should   
  
close your bedroom door so you wont hear the voices in the common room."  
  
"No Poppy is not that...look at my ex-beautiful smile!". He smiled, a painful smile and   
  
she burst out laughing.  
  
"What-gasp-happened-gasp-to you?"  
  
"I tried Hagrid`s biscuits"  
  
"Oh dear, I think we should wash your stomach"  
  
"No!, but can you please grow my tooth back?"  
  
"Oh no...but I can clean it, it's going to be hard but you don't have to worry". She   
  
muttered a spell and brushed his teeth and finally Sirius's tooth was white again.  
  
"Thanks, now I can still be a tooth model"  
  
"Your welcome Mr.Black but please try no to eat any more of Hagrid`s biscuits"  
  
"Sure, now before I go can I ask you some questions?"  
  
"Yes, but quickly I have things to do"  
  
"Okay, first question: Do you make students sick just so you can take care of them and   
  
have them locked in the Hospital wing?"  
  
"N-no...of course not". She said biting her nails and looking around  
  
`Mental Note for myself: Don't try anything free that Poppy gives except medicine.´  
  
"Okay next question: Does a Mr.Poppy exists? If so, does his name begin with a P?"  
  
"No Mr.Black, a Mr. Poppy doesn't exist"  
  
"Oh, maybe I can talk to Professor Flitwick so both of you can go out sometime, I sense that  
  
both of you are lonely, maybe later you can do some naughty things." He said with a   
  
mischievous smile that started to fade away as soon as he had a mental image.  
  
"Black!-"  
  
"Eww,eww,eww, bad mental image!". He said this with his eyes closed and didn't saw   
  
Madam Pomprey`s fist colliding with his left eye.  
  
"Black! Out!"  
  
"But Poppy at least fix my eye...I feel a bruise coming"  
  
"No, go ask someone else"  
  
"That's abuse"  
  
"Out!"  
  
"Okay...okay..."  
  
Sirius left the Hospital wing `I have to hurry and find someone to fix my eye, because apart   
  
that my fan club can see me like this, it bloody hurts. Someone that's good at Charms...Lily!´.  
  
He went running to the Gryffindor common room and saw James seated on a couch with a   
  
sleeping Lily in his arms.  
  
"Lily!!!!!". He screamed  
  
She jumped and fell into the floor.  
  
"Padfoot bloody hell! you woke her up!"  
  
"I need her"  
  
"Sorry I'm already taken" She said from the floor.  
  
"No, not for that, don't you see my eye?" Sirius said dramatically showing them a purple   
  
bruise that was now in his left eye.  
  
"Sirius what happened?". Lily asked concerned about him.  
  
"Poppy punched me...".He whined  
  
(Snorts from James and Lily)  
  
"You called her Poppy?". Asked Lily trying to hide a smile.  
  
"Lily, love, he has nicknames for all the professors; there's Minnie, Poppy which is her   
  
real name, Albie, Fleety, Sprouty, Whity for Binns...and a lot more"  
  
By this time Lily was in the floor rolling with laughter with tears in her eyes.  
  
"So now Lily, can you please fix my eye? It bloody hurts". He whined again  
  
"Okay, okay". She said an incantation and Sirius's eye was fixed.  
  
"Okay guys I have to go, I have quidditch practice". James gave a peck on the lips to Lily   
  
and left.  
  
"Thanks Lils, for fixing my eye."  
  
"You're welcome."  
  
"Can I ask you some questions?"  
  
"Yeah sure, but hurry up `cause I have to study."  
  
"First question; and tell me the truth, why did you choose James over me?"  
  
"Well don't take it personally but I love his personality, well now because he used to be a   
  
bit bigheaded."  
  
"But what about looks?"  
  
"I think James is cute"  
  
"Imagine when you have kids, whose hair would you prefer? James's untidy one or my beautiful one?"  
  
"Don't worry, I KNOW our kids WILL have my red tidy hair, but now that I think about it I love   
  
James's hair..."   
  
"Is not fair!". He said like a two year old stomping his foot on the floor.  
  
"Siri, you don't even like me that way..."  
  
"I know..."  
  
"Why don't you go out with Aine?...she likes you a lot..."  
  
"But she's like...hugeeeee...."  
  
"Sirius don't be mean!"  
  
"Okay, okay I won't be mean but can you lend me your History of Magic essay? only to see if   
  
it looks like mine..."  
  
"I lend it to you but Professor Binns already has it so you should ask him for it."  
  
"He won't give it to me, can you come with me? please?". He asked giving her his best puppy   
  
dog eyes.  
  
"Argh! fine!...and stop with the puppy dog eyes!"  
  
"Yey!!"  
  
They went walking -or in Sirius's case jumping- towards Binns's classroom.  
  
"Sirius can you stop jumping?". Asked Lily for the tenth time in less than five minutes  
  
"But Liiiilllyyy...I'm bored." He whined. Again  
  
"At least we're here."  
  
They entered, Binns was asleep on a chair.  
  
"Hey Whity!!!". Screamed Sirius, Professor Binns jumped and Lily was trying to cover her giggles.  
  
"Black! are you trying to scare me to death?"  
  
"But you're-".He was cut off by Lily's hand in his mouth.  
  
"We're sorry Professor but we came to ask you for my last essay do you have it?"  
  
"Oh yes Evans, it was wonderful, you got an O, not like Black here who hasn't done it yet...here   
  
you go". He handed Lily her essay.  
  
"I'm on the process, I'll give it to you by Monday...hey Lils can you live the thing in my bed?"  
  
"Yeah, sure I'm going to see if James is already done."  
  
"Bye."  
  
"Bye Sirius, Professor Binns."  
  
"Goodbye Ms. Evans." He turned to Sirius. "Now Black what do you want?" He asked glaring at him.  
  
"Just to ask you some questions."  
  
"All right, but hurry because I have lots of essays to correct."  
  
"First question: Are you related to Bonko the clown?"  
  
"Why do you ask such question Mr. Black."  
  
"Didn't you notice Binns=Bonko?, they sound alike." By now he was trying really hard to keep a   
  
straight face.  
  
"No Black! I'm not related to a clown, in fact I come from a well respected wizarding family."  
  
"Yeah, and I love my mother." He muttered. "Next question: why are you so white?"  
  
"I'm not white, I'm pale."  
  
"When was the last time you went to Cancun?"  
  
"Actually I was planning on going on the next summer vacations."  
  
"Okay…Have you forgotten anything lately on the armchair? A body perhaps?"  
  
"I'm not following you Mr. Black."  
  
"Do you by any chance know that you're D-E-A-D?"  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"Dear Lord you are a Professor I thought that you could spell. I said that if you know that you're   
  
dead?"   
  
"Mr. Black! I won't permit students to say such kind of lies, out of here! Oh! And go find your   
  
friend Mr. Lupin, he must leave in an hour for his transformation."  
  
"Okay Whity!" He said cheerfully.  
  
"Black! Ten points from Gryffindor!"  
  
"Okay…". And he left skipping, yes skipping, and since he was carrying the Marauders Map he   
  
looked for Remus, he found him in his way out of the kitchens, so he went through some secret   
  
passages and quickly found him.  
  
"Remmy old pal Whity told me to tell you that you should go to the Hospital Wing for your   
  
transformation."  
  
"I was on my way, I was beginning to get more and more hungrier." He said taking a bite of chocolate.  
  
"I'll walk you to the Hospital Wing."  
  
"Okay."  
  
"Reemmyyy…Can I ask you some questions?"  
  
"Sure." Another bite.  
  
"Yay! (he did a little hop at this). Okay first question: Did you made highlights in your   
  
hear to look cooler?"  
  
"No…I'm a werewolf they come naturally." Another bite.  
  
"Sure…Okay…Are you addicted to chocolate? And don't worry to tell the truth; the first step is to   
  
admit the problem."  
  
"N-no, of course not." Another bite.  
  
"Reemmy…?"  
  
"Stop it Sirius! I'm not addicted to chocolate."  
  
"Okaay…" And while Sirius was writing something in his notebook, Remus put the last piece of   
  
chocolate desperately in his mouth.  
  
"Next question: What does the J in your name stands for? Jamal? James? Jamaica? Joel? Junior?"  
  
"I'm not telling you that! And what are all this questions about anyway?"  
  
"Well, today I started thinking-"  
  
"Okay then whatever it is stop it because when you do something that you thought by yourself   
  
it always ends wrong."  
  
"But this isn't dangerous, besides I started this when I was six…today I'm Sirius Black: the   
  
reporter."  
  
Remus groaned, Sirius not noticing this kept hopping and suddenly stopped. "I know who will   
  
I report next…It's perfect…how didn't I thought of this before?"  
  
"Look mate, I don't know who'll be your next victim but before "interviewing" him or her you   
  
have to find Peter, he was looking for you."  
  
"Okay, I'll see you tonight at the Shrieking Shack."  
  
"Just for curiosity, who's your next victim?"  
  
"After Peter? (He grinned evilly) Snivellus."  
  
"Dear Lord."  
  
"Bye Remy."  
  
"Take care."  
  
`Now to find Peter.´ He saw Peter on his way out of a dungeon, almost crying.  
  
"Hey Wormtail, what's wrong?"  
  
"S-S-Snape stole my homework."  
  
"Okay, I'll help you…with a condition."  
  
"O-O-Of course."  
  
"You have to answer some questions."  
  
"A-a-ask them, but hurry, I have to get my homework back."  
  
Sirius grinned evilly. "Why is your favourite animal the rat? Don't you like puppies? Like…me?"  
  
"I like rats because they are small and grey and pretty and grey and sm-"  
  
"I think I got it mate." Sirius said looking repulsively at Peter. "Next question: Are you   
  
on a diet? I think you should, is not like you're going to end pretty at all but it could help  
  
you to be a little less ugly."  
  
"S-Sirius do you think that? Really?"  
  
"Yeah…sure." He answered looking at the ceiling.  
  
"D-do you think James would like it?"  
  
"Is not the same as red hair, green eyes and breasts, you have to see that first Wormtail,   
  
beside James loves Lily." Wormtail started to cry.  
  
"Wormtail can I ask you one last question?" He asked carefully.  
  
"S-sure."  
  
"Do you like James? Do you wet yourself for James?" He asked trying hard not to start laughing,  
  
Wormtail started to cry harder.  
  
"Okay…well Wormy, I'll be leaving, I'll try to get your homework back from Snivellus."  
  
"T-thanks."  
  
Sirius left, with a last glance at Wormtail `Weirdo´, he looked at the Marauders Map and   
  
saw that Snape was at the boys bathroom, he went there and when he arrived he carefully opened   
  
the door and…grinned. He whispered "Accio camera", Snape was washing his hair in a sink, by his   
  
side was a vanilla shampoo. Sirius's camera appeared and he took some pictures, Snape heard the   
  
noise and turned around, with bubbles in his hair, at seeing Sirius his confused expression   
  
changed to one of pure hatred.  
  
"Black!! What do you want? Give me back those photos now!!!"  
  
"Tsk, tsk, tsk, no, no, no, If you want those photos back you'll have to ask me nicely."   
  
"Fine! Could you give me the photos please?" Snape growled.  
  
"With a condition." He said, now grinning.  
  
"And what if I don't do it?"  
  
"I think I can come up with a prank, in which the central theme would be the pictures."  
  
"Fine! What do you want?." He asked, now banging his head on the wall.  
  
"You just have to answer some questions." `Damn I know I had to ask for something else…what   
  
was it?…It had to do something with Wormy…I know!´ "And you have to give me back Peter's   
  
homework." He added.  
  
"Ask."  
  
"Apart from using vanilla shampoo, what conditioner do you use? I could recommend you one for   
  
the grease but I don't like you."  
  
"I don't use conditioner."  
  
"You have to cooperate and tell me the truth." Sirius said as to talking to a two year old kid.  
  
"Or else…"  
  
"I use strawberry conditioner." Snape said trough gritted teeth.  
  
"That's a good boy!" `Now I have a heading for the pics." "Now next question: are you related   
  
to a hippogriff? You have a thing here…(he motioned all his face) that reminds me of one,   
  
although is like insulting all the hippogriffs and-"  
  
"Black! Ask the next question…and no I'm not related to an hippogriff."  
  
"Okay, don't hurry the master, next question: How often do you wash your under wear?"   
  
"As often as I wash my hair." Said Snape smirking.  
  
"Eww, eww, eww." Sirius started to make gagging sounds. "I think that I learned too much about   
  
my enemy for today, can you just give me Peter's homework."  
  
"Sorry, but Lucius has it."  
  
"The albino kid?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Okay then, I'll see you tomorrow." He left running.  
  
"Black give me the pictures!!!"  
  
"Je, je, je" Sirius was now near the great hall and spotted an almost white head. "Hey, you!   
  
Albino kid! Lucy!". At this Lucius turned around and glared at Sirius.  
  
"What do you want Black?"  
  
"Just to ask you some things."  
  
"And what if I don't do it?"  
  
"I'll show my aunt the pictures that I have of you and my dear cousin Narcissa, and don't forget   
  
that they move."  
  
At this Lucius paled even more.  
  
"You wouldn't dare."  
  
"Oh yes, I would, you know me."  
  
"What do you want then?"  
  
"You have to give me Peter's homework-"  
  
"Rat boy?"  
  
"Yeah, and you have to answer some questions."  
  
"Okay, but hurry."  
  
"Okay albino kid first question: do you know that bleaching your hair can damage your brains?   
  
I know you don't because you don't have brains but-" He was interrupted.  
  
"I don't bleach my hair, you mudblood lover!"  
  
Sirius was pointing his wand at Lucius throat.   
  
"Say that again and you won't be able to play with Narcy again."  
  
""Then ask the next question, I don't want anybody to see me with you mudb-" He saw Sirius's   
  
glare and closed his mouth.  
  
"Next question: do you use perfume or something? Because since Narcissa started to go out   
  
with you has been with a weird face, like she had something nasty under her nose."  
  
"Black leave me alone now!"  
  
"Then give me Peter's homework!"  
  
"Here, it doesn't matter, it was all wrong."  
  
"Duh!"  
  
"Black!" Professor McGonagall yelled.  
  
"I didn't do it!" By now this came naturally out of Sirius's mouth.  
  
"Dumbledore wants to see you"  
  
"Okay." He left and saw the gargoyle that guards Dumbledore's office. `Mmm…which could be the   
  
password?´ He asked himself while tapping his chin with his finger.   
  
"Pumpkin Pastries!" The gargoyle didn't flinch.  
  
"Bertie Botts!" Nothing.  
  
"You dumb-stupid-broccoli-spinach-good-for-nothing-gargoyle move!" He kicked it.  
  
"Aah! I broke my precious foot! Now I can't be a foot model either." He whined.  
  
"Well now Mr. Black why do you have to use violence?" Asked Dumbledore who had just appeared   
  
behind him.  
  
"…I didn't know the password." He answered sheepishly.  
  
"It was Lemon Drop" Sirius looked at him like saying `You have to be kidding me´  
  
"Now Mr. Black wait here until I tell you to come in." And he left running and closed his   
  
office's door. No later than two seconds he heard a "Mr. Black please come in.", when Sirius   
  
entered to the office Dumbledore was seated behind his desk looking serious –not like he was   
  
two seconds before-  
  
"Well hello Mr. Black, haven't seen you since yesterday."  
  
"But-"  
  
"Shh!…I know, but this is the best part of being the headmaster."  
  
"Ohh…" He said moving backwards towards the door. "Well Albie, what's the reason of me being   
  
here today? I didn't do any pranks. Today. I think." After all it was easy for him to lose his   
  
track.  
  
"Mr. Black I'm aware that you've been interviewing people."  
  
"Oh no, don't tell me you started with this again…Dumbledore run!!!!" And the man in the portrait   
  
disappeared.  
  
"As you were saying before Phineas interrupted Professor, about the interview, it doesn't brake   
  
any rules and I know all of them since I already broke most of them."  
  
"I'm aware of that Mr. Black, I just wanted you to interview me."  
  
"I was about to do that."  
  
"Ask then, but first do you want a Lemon Drop?"  
  
"Okay!" He took one. "First question: How old are you?"  
  
"Lemon Drop?"  
  
"No, thanks. Can you answer my question Albie?"  
  
"Lemon Drop?"  
  
"Trying to change the topic…I see. `But he's not going to beat me.´ Well sir, then I'll change   
  
my question, next question: I know that your full name is Albus Percival Wulfric Brian   
  
Dumbledore; Why that weird name in the middle? I don't think it suits you or your full name…who   
  
would name their son Wulfric?"  
  
Dumbledore's face fell…He was starting to crack up.  
  
"Do yo- Lemon Drop?"  
  
`He's coming down´ "No thanks sir, if you don't answer this question then let's go to the next   
  
one: do you have any deep feelings for Minnie?" Blush crept over Dumbledore's face.   
  
"L-lemon Drop?"  
  
"No thanks sir, personally, and I'm a big fan of sugar, I dare to say Number 1 fan." He pointed   
  
his wand at himself and muttered something and a t-shirt that said `I love sugar´ appeared.   
  
"I honestly hate Lemon Drops."  
  
Dumbledore was banging his head on the desk.  
  
"I warned you Albus." Said Phineas from his portrait, who had came back.  
  
"And…since you don't answer your questions I'll put that you're not getting any younger and   
  
you can't answer them…but if you answer them –and I know you will- I'll give you socks for   
  
Christmas."  
  
Dumbledore's face lighted up.  
  
"I'll answer, I'm 150 years old, do you really think that Wulfric was the weird name in my   
  
full name? The one that didn't suit? What about Brian? I personally like it but it's weird,   
  
and last but not least I-I do-don't have deep feelings for Minnie- Minerva, I forgot! One last   
  
thing…How can you hate Lemon Droops?"  
  
"The truth is that I don't hate them, but I almost made you cry."  
  
"Could you be so kind to leave Mr. Black?" Asked Dumbledore dangerously composed.  
  
"Of course Albie!" He left happily hopping.  
  
"Almost made me cry." Albus muttered. "He'll see." He muttered a spell and a `Loser´ sign appeared   
  
in Sirius's back.  
  
`It's almost time for Remus's transformation, I better go looking for James, he must be in the   
  
forest.´ He went to the forest –with some catcalls of `Loser´ in the way- and there, in the   
  
entrance of the forbidden forest he spotted a stag. `There he is.´   
  
"Hey Prongs."  
  
"…"  
  
"Not very talkative in this form…I see…Oh! I have an idea…I'll ask you some questions in your   
  
animagus form and you answer okay?"  
  
"…"  
  
"One stomp for yes two for no."  
  
"…"  
  
"First question: does grass taste good?"  
  
"…"  
  
"C'mon, don't you remember the one for yes, two for no?"  
  
"…"  
  
"I guess you don't like the question, then I'll ask another one, okay?"  
  
"…"  
  
"I'll take that as a yes. You always see me as a dog, do you think I'm a cute dog?"  
  
"…"  
  
"Do you think chicks would stroke my ears? Or my belly?"  
  
"…"  
  
"Yeah…I also think I should ask Wormtail since he's always checking us out…that sounded so   
  
nauseating…"   
  
"…" By now the stag was getting bored so he started to nibble Sirius's hair, Sirius without   
  
looking at him because he was writing in his notebook was pushing him.   
  
"Cut it out Prongs." He didn't stop.  
  
"Cut it out." The stag got angry also making angry sounds, Sirius turned around and colour   
  
drained from his face.   
  
"Ja-James?"  
  
More angry sounds.  
  
"J-James are you there?"  
  
"Even more angry sounds.  
  
"Aagghh!!!" He started to run like the wind, screaming for his life until he collided with   
  
something, he fell in the ground and looked up, he saw James with his arm around Lily.  
  
"J-James why did you do that to me?"  
  
"What did I do?"  
  
"You were chasing me as Prongs a-and you were biting my precious hair."  
  
"Sirius I don't know what are you talking about but James has been with me the last hour."  
  
Sirius's face fell. "W-what?". James was rolling in the floor with laughter. "Y-y-you w-were   
  
t-talking with a-". More laughter.  
  
"Okaay…well love I'm going inside, see you later." She gave him a kiss and was turning to leave   
  
when Sirius stopped her.   
  
"Hey Lils could you go to the owlery and check if Peter is there?"  
  
"Why don't you go?"  
  
"Because I have to interview James but if you want to I can interview you again." Sirius said   
  
smirking.  
  
"No, please, I'll go." She left running.  
  
"Padfoot what did you do to her?" James asked scared and looking at Sirius's notebook with fear.  
  
"Nothing…Just an interview." He answered with the most innocent look he had.  
  
"Padfoot…"  
  
"But is true…I Marauder swear." He said holding up his pinky.  
  
*gasp* "You Marauder promised with your pinky. I'm sorry I didn't believe you, forgive me."  
  
"I'll have to think about it."  
  
"…"  
  
"Okay! But you'll have to answer some questions."  
  
"Fine, but hurry up, we have to go with Moony."  
  
"I think we can do them on our way there."  
  
"Are they dangerous?" He asked fearfully.  
  
"No…" Sirius answered with a I-didn't-do-it face looking at the sky.  
  
"Pinky Marauder swear it."  
  
"That's not fair!" He whined.  
  
"So…they are dangerous?"  
  
"Well…not dangerous, just… dangerously informative." He answered looking at his feet. "But   
  
please, pretty please? With a cherry on top?" He asked hopefully.  
  
"Well…since you're my best friend, it's a risk I'll have to take" He said puffing out his   
  
chest.  
  
"Besides, I would do the same for you"  
  
"But Padfoot I'm not like-"  
  
"Shh! It's the same, First question: Is your hair really untidy or you just do it on purpose?   
  
And if you do it on purpose, don't you know that you should try to make it like mine? It's   
  
cooler."  
  
"I don't do it on purpose, my father, grandfather and all the Potters before me had the same   
  
problem, dad even told me once that my child would have the same problem."  
  
"Have you told Lily about it?"  
  
"No…"  
  
"Do you plan to marry Lily in the future?"  
  
"Maybe…" James answered blushing.  
  
"Don't you think you should tell her about the problem your child would have?"  
  
"Padfoot I don't think that's a problem and besides where are you heading with this silly   
  
questions?". He asked impatiently, tapping his foot on the floor.  
  
"I'm heading to the two most important questions that I'm gonna ask you in my life."  
  
"Ask then…"  
  
"Can I be your best man at the wedding? Pleaseeee?." He whined.  
  
"Of course Padfoot you're my bestest mate after all, what's the next question?"  
  
"Can I be your untidy-haired-child's godfather?"  
  
"I don't know Sirius, Moony has to something also, after all he's my other best friend."   
  
Sirius looked at his feet, and suddenly -scaring James- jumped.  
  
"I have an idea!"  
  
"What Padfoot?"  
  
"If it's a girl I'm the godfather and if it's a boy Moony is the godfather."  
  
"Do you think It'll be a girl?"  
  
"I don't know, but I expect that girls have better hair than boys, but I'm not sure so I'll   
  
tell you when the time comes if I want to be a boy's or a girl's godfather, so don't tell   
  
Moony about this deal ok?"  
  
"Yes Padfoot…are the questions over?"  
  
"Yeah, I think so why?"  
  
"'Cause we're here."  
  
They were in front of a trap door, they could hear violent noises from inside.  
  
"Prongs let's transform."  
  
"The first coherent thing you said to me today."  
  
They transformed, James as a stag and Sirius as a dog and entered to the Shrieking Shack,   
  
they could see Remus already transformed biting a chair, the animals started to play and   
  
the night passed by, when they were resting the black dog jumped, the werewolf was sleeping,   
  
so very carefully the dog seated on top of the stag, the stag that who was also resting got   
  
up and the dog transformed itself back to Sirius.  
  
"Prongs stay like this, I'm gonna ask Moony some questions." The stag gave him a are-you-nuts   
  
look (If stags can do that.)  
  
"Moony, I'm going to ask you some questions." The werewolf backed away.  
  
"First question: do you want to eat me?"  
  
"Grr…"  
  
"Okaay…next: do you as a werewolf get horny?"  
  
"Grr…"  
  
"Have you met a female werewolf? And if you did, did you do naughty things with her?" He said   
  
this wiggling his eyebrows.  
  
"Grr…"  
  
"Okay, okay I won't ask you more questions…well just one last thing: do you have flies?"   
  
He asked scratching his head.  
  
"Grr…"By now Remus was transforming back, and so did James so Sirius fell to the floor.  
  
"Hey! You could have warned me or something"  
  
"We should get going."  
  
"I'm going to the Hospital Wing." Said Remus  
  
They left, too tired to talk, when arriving to their bedroom James went straight to bed,   
  
Sirius was on his way to bed also but his image in the mirror stopped him, "Siri, are you   
  
gonna leave me here all day? Don't you want to ask me anything else? To me, the greatest   
  
person in the world?"  
  
"Shut up…" He mumbled something and the image disappeared. "I…want…sleep…" he slurred and   
  
fell in his bed, he didn't even took the covers out, he just grabbed his teddy bear   
  
'Mr.Griffy' and fell asleep.  
  
WELL PEOPLE I HOPE YOU REVIEW AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT THIS FANFIC. PLEASE.  
  
BY THE WAY SORRY FOR THE DELAY I HAD SOME EXAMS AND I PASSED THEM ALL YEY!!!  
  
BYE AND THANKS FOR THE REVIEWERS OF THE FIRST CHAP. 


	3. Age 21

It was a beautiful spring day, the sun was shining, the birds singing and the flowers had just bloomed. The most perfect day for a wedding, but not any wedding... it was James and Lily's wedding, and everything had to be PERFECT: perfect weather, perfect flowers perfectly set, perfect tables with perfect tablecloth, a perfect arch and, of course, the perfect couple. Everyone was delighted but there was one, one single individual who thought it was too perfect, disgustingly perfect: Sirius Black.  
He was leaning back on his rear chair legs watching the people entering to the Potter's backyard. He was listening to a conversation between James and a cousin of his, apparently a reporter, when the key word was spoken and a flame reborn in Sirius' heart.  
"I'm the one who makes the interviews... (interviews... interviews... interviews...)" The word echoed inside his skull and his bored face changed. A smile gradually appeared on his face and his eyes lit with an evil glint... the time had come again... the time for him to come back... things were just too perfect.  
He let his chair fall into all four legs with a loud bang and started walking to the house, muttering to himself. At first, James stared but then followed quickly.  
"Hey! Padfoot, wait up! Where are you going?"  
"The house... need quill and parchment..." muttered Sirius.  
"Okay... I'm not asking what for... I'm going to the bathroom" said James and he started going upstairs as Sirius had grabbed a little notepad and a pen from over the fireplace.  
All of a sudden, Sirius yelled "NO! Prongs, you can't go!" and after climbing the stairs in two steps, he pushed James away and magically locked himself inside the bathroom.  
"Padfoot, open up! I need to go... you know I have to go when I'm nervous!"  
"Just a sec, Prongsie! I'll be right out..."  
He was grinning to his image in the mirror, his wand in his hand. The mirror was about to say something but changed after a bright flash.  
"Hey, charming, long time no see..." said Sirius' image, winking.  
"Hello, are you the best-man?" asked Sirius (like he didn't know.  
"Oh, I happen to be, may I help you?" the image answered adopting a very a very serious and innocent look.  
"I wonder if I can ask you some questions"  
"Shoot, cutie"  
"Ok, do you think that the fact that you are incredibly beautiful helped you to become the best-man?"  
"I think I won because of my charming personality, but yes, obviously it helped a little bit, it never goes unnoticed"  
"How can you be so sure?" Sirius questioned again.  
"Well, haven't you noticed?"  
"Of course I have!"  
"So, that's it!" smiled the mirror.  
Suddenly, the bathroom door banged.  
"SIRIUS! OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR!" James bellowed and then whined "I've got only one suit!"  
"Just one more sec, Jamie!" both Siriuses answered.  
After a silent second James asked "Did you charm the mirror again?"  
  
Flashblack  
  
James walked into the boy's bathroom and stared at his image, but it cast him a deadly glare.  
"Are you EVER going to do something about your hair?"  
James stared nonplussed.  
"You know, the Black kid could recommend you a special shampoo and..." in that exact second, Severus Snape walked into the bathroom too.  
"Oh my God... I'm gonna break!" squeaked the mirror as James' image said "Yo, Snivelly!"  
James looked at Snape's image who was now saying " Who do you think you are anyway? Sirius Black or something?"  
"BLACK!!" screamed Snape and James at the same time.  
"That's my name, don't wear it out!" said in unison the two images and a head that poked inside the bathroom.  
  
End of Flashblack  
  
"No... just wait!" said Sirius "Ok, last question... What hair products do you use?"  
"None!" the mirror answered.  
"Gosh! I really need to practice that" said Sirius removing the charm. When he opened the door, a jumping James hurried into the bathroom while the first victim was climbing the stairs.  
"What's going on?" asked Remus.  
"Moony!" Sirius smiled "Just the man I was looking for!"  
"What now, Padfoot... did you lost the rings again?!"  
"No Remmy, relax! They're here, safely kept in my... Oh-oh"  
"Shit! Not again, Sirius!" Remus was about to lose it.  
"Gotcha!" grinned Sirius, showing him a little black velvet box "Caught by the master!" he mocked, shaking the rings over Remus' head. Remus finally started breathing again.  
"Damn you, Sirius! You almost scare me to death!"  
"Yeah, ha ha... I know" laughed Sirius "Hey Moony! Wait!" he added as his friend intended to leave. "What now, Padfoot?" snorted Remus.  
"Can I ask you some questions... not best man?" he muttered this last part under his breath.  
"How did you call me?" asked Remus, puzzled.  
"Remus, hem, the not best man, cof, cof" Sirius coughed.  
"The not what?"  
"Doesn't matter... did you feel bad when James told you that you weren't going to be the best man?"  
"What? Why should I?" Remus was puzzled again.  
"Because that attractive young man won and you didn't"  
"Won? It's not a game, you git! It's James and Lily's wedding!"  
"I know... but didn't you feel devastated for your loss?"  
"Sirius! There's no loss! What's wrong with you, mate?!"  
"Ok, Remmy, don't panic... don't you think that the best man's incredible beauty was what defeated you?"  
"Oh, Padfoot, cut the crap... you're starting to sound like Prongs in fifth year!"  
"Come on, Moony! Face it! That's the first step towards acceptation"  
"Face what?!" asked Remus terribly close to exasperation.  
"The fact that you're jealous of the gorgeous best man!"  
"Why are you talking about yourself in the third person?"  
"I'm talking about the jaunty best man!"  
"whatever, psycho"  
"Don't you just looove his hair?"  
"Padfoot, don't you think you're starting to sound gay with yourself?" asked Remus.  
"Hey! I'm asking the questions here, Mr. Not-best-man!"  
"Oh! You're with the interview shit again?! You can't be serious!"  
"What if I am?" asked Sirius defiantly.  
"You'll mess up the whole ceremony! Lily's gonna slice you!" warned Remus.  
"Come on! It'll be fun, you'll see!" cheered Sirius "Please Sirius, don't!" begged Remus "You can't stop me! Mwa haha! No one can!"  
"Oh, yes I can!" said Remus while pushing Sirius into a broom closet "Colloportus!" he said and the door locked between them.  
"Ha! Do you think that stupid charm is gonna stop me?, Behalf the power of Sirius Black, The almighty best man!" Sirius was laughing madly but stopped to ask "Hey, Moony, have you seen my wand?"  
"No, best man, I'll take you out when you stop this stupidity"  
"I SO don't care, ha, ha! I have the rings! You can't do anything without the..."  
"Accio rings" said Remus in a bored voice, and two little gold rings flew to his hand from under the door.  
"Argh! Damn you, Lupin!" Sirius yelled while punching the door furiously. Remus was already heading to the stairs where he met James, who was coming from the bathroom.  
"It's the tenth time I go, I'm gonna be bloody dry when the time comes..." said James while walking down the stairs with Remus. "Have you seen Sirius? He left his wand in the bathroom..." James asked already going outside again, to the back-yard. Remus smiled.  
"No... maybe he's in the broom closet again" he replied.  
"Maybe" agreed James "Then when we need the rings we'll call him"  
"No need to" Remus smiled again and showed him the rings "After the first time he lost them I wasn't going to give them back to him, was I?"  
"Yeah, I guess not... that's why you're the clever one" James smiled and after patting his shoulder, started receiving the people's greetings again.  
Meanwhile, in the top floor, Sirius was charging against the door and in the next room, Lily and her maid of honour, Aine, were getting ready.  
"Are you dressed?" asked Lily.  
"Yes, I am... do you need anything?" said Aine looking at Lily wrapped in a towel.  
"Just something to drink... my mouth has gone dry!"  
"Ok, I'll be right back" Aine replied and left the room. She closed Lily's door behind her but a loud bang drew her attention.  
"Is anyone in there?" asked Aine to the broom closet door.  
"I'm the best man! Can you help me out?" whined Sirius.  
She took out her wand, muttered "Alohomora!" and the door unlocked. Sirius hurried out.  
"Thank you!" he said and his eyes started rolling up and down the girl's graceful figure. "How you doin'?' he asked her, winking but was ignored.  
"What were you doing inside the broom closet?" she asked.  
"Remus locked me up"  
"What? Why?"  
"Jealous" answered Sirius simply and added "Where are you going anyway? Shouldn't you be with Lils?"  
"She asked me to go and get her something to drink, She's really nervous!"  
"James is too, but wouldn't you be nervous?" he asked, going down the stairs with her "Hum... can I ask you something?"  
"As you like" Aine shrugged and walked into the kitchen.  
"You're thinner than you used to be, don't you?" he asked.  
"Yes, Sirius, I lost thirty pounds in the last three months"  
"Oh... that's a little weight... you can see it though"  
Aine rolled her eyes at Sirius as she poured pumpkin juice into a glass.  
"And... since you're the maid of honour and I'm the best man, don't you think we should... get to know each other better?" he asked, staring at the ceiling.  
"Sirius, we've been in the same class since we started going to Hogwarts... what's wrong with you?" she asked, kind of lost.  
"Nothing..." he responded quickly "Is just that true love is hiding right in front of you, and you don't notice before it's too late..." Sirius was staring fixedly at the glass in Aine's hand and then looked up right into her eyes... She immediately looked away, blushed profusely and spilt some juice over her chest.  
"Oh. my..." she said quickly grabbing a napkin to clean her dress.  
"Let me help you!" said Sirius right away and put his hand over hers on the napkin. She blushed ten times more.  
"Sirius! What's wrong with you?" she said moving his hand away from her.  
"Nothing, except that you blinded me with your beauty"  
"you've seen me your whole life!"  
"But not in that dress!" Sirius explained promptly "Or with make up!"  
"Oh! So when I take the dress off you won't be interested in getting to know each other better, will you?" Aine reproached.  
"No! When you take off your dress is the best part..." said Sirius with a sexy smile and a glint in his eyes.  
"I knew something like that was coming!" said Aine, really angry "You'll never change, Black!"  
"Change what?!"  
"Oh! Forget about it!"  
"Wanna make out?"  
"NO! When are you going to grow up?!" yelled Aine, while leaving the kitchen with the glass and some sandwiches.  
'She must be going to Lily's bedroom... I have to get there first!' Sirius thought and immediately Dissaparated.  
At that exact moment, Lily was clasping her bra and looking into the mirror, when she heard a loud crack and saw Sirius' image drooling next to hers.  
"SIRIUS BLACK! WHAT IN GOD'S NAME ARE YOU DOING HERE, PERVERTED PSYCHO?!"  
"Nothing! I came to see Aine, she'll be here any minute now" said Sirius turning away from the blushing Lily and looking to the ceiling.  
"Couldn't you knock?" asked Lily "This was easier... can I ask you something, Lils?"  
"Oh... ok! But stay like that and don't peek til I put in my dress"  
"Okay... are you aware that you're about to marry the one you used to call 'The most big headed git who ever breathed under the sorting hat'?"  
"No, I don't think so. James has changed a lot in the last few years (not to thank some of his friends) and he used to be a big headed git, but not anymore... now he's very humble" answered Lily.  
"Yeah... right, blame poor old Padfoot!... do you think he will really mean to swear he'll have and hold you?"  
"Yes, of course!"  
"In sickness and in health?"  
"Yes"  
"In poverty and in wealth?"  
"In..."  
"Ok, Sirius, that's enough!" finished Lily.  
"Fine, Fine!... Have you realised that you will be Ms. Potter?... you'll be Ms. Lily Potter! I think it's nice... well... almost anything better than Evans, I mean, what are you? American or something?"  
"What's going on, Sirius? Are you on Ritalin again?" she asked "No! I'm just asking questions!"  
"Oh, no! Not the reporter thing again!" whined Lily "Oh, come on! You didn't end up thaat bad last time..."  
  
Flashblack  
  
(As/N: Just picture this) Lily covered with feathers and owl poo, pouting, a letter in her hand and her green eyes watery, about to shed the tears.  
  
End of Flashblack  
  
"Ok... maybe you did..." corrected Sirius "but now we're mature people (Lily snorted)... ok you are mature, but I swear I won't mess up your wedding!"  
"Pinkie swear?"  
"Yes, pinkie swear and Marauder promise" said Sirius holding up his pinkie.  
"Ok, now you can turn... what do you think?"  
Sirius faced Lily, who was smiling timidly and showing him her quite simple dress.  
"Whoa..." said Sirius admiring her in awe "You look beautiful Lils..." The pink of her cheeks redden and Sirius asked "Come again, why James over me?"  
"Because although you are cuter, looks isn't everything" recited Lily, she had now answered that question over thirty times with the same answer.  
"I know... but I also have more money... and my I.Q. is higher!"  
"Yes, Siri, but I love James" explained Lily, as if she was talking to a four year old.  
"So... you don't love me?" asked Sirius, his eyes filling with tears as he sat on the bed.  
"Oh! Of course I love you, darling! But not the way I love James" Lily said and as she sat next to him she put her arm around his shoulders.  
"Which way do you love me?" enquired Sirius, bending uncomfortably to rest his much taller head over Lily's shoulder.  
"hum... The same way you love James and Remus" she replied wisely.  
"Ok... so you're not going to run away with me and Betsy?"  
"Betsy?"  
"You know Betsy! My flying motorcycle!" said Sirius smiling.  
"Oh! Yes... Betsy... ('psycho'), Well... would you run away with Remus?"  
"No"  
"So?"  
"Ok, fine, I get it... No making out either?" he asked hopefully but Lily shook her head.  
"Only if you would make out with James" she said.  
Sirius looked at her disgusted and then as he sighed, the door opened.  
"Sorry I took so long" Aine apologised, while entering the room "Oh, Sirius, here! I found your wand in the bathroom"  
"Thanks, Aine!" Sirius jumped up, took his wand and kissed Aine's cheek. "Good luck, Lils! See ya!" he said and left the bedroom.  
Happily hopping down the stairs, he met his next victim.  
"Hello, Ms. Evans!" waved Sirius.  
"Hello, Sirius... what are you up to now?" the woman enquired.  
"Moi? Up to something? You offended me!"  
"Sorry, honey, didn't mean to, but you're always up to something"  
"You know me just too well, Ms. E" said Sirius "I was wandering if I can ask you some questions..."  
"Sure" said Lily's mother.  
"Ok, first... what would you do if your grandson has James' hair?"  
"Oh, I like his hair! It looks nice all messed up" she answered.  
"Don't you prefer a nice tidy hair, like... I don't know... mine? For example?" asked Sirius trying to casually fix his hair to look cooler.  
"Not really..."  
"Oh! Come on! Don't you think I'm a better catch for your daughter?"  
"Well... I don't know..."  
"I'm better looking than James, have more money and my hair is tidier!" he said hopefully.  
"I know, sweetheart, but it's up to Lily" Ms. Evans explained understandingly.  
"Yeah... I know..." sighed Sirius then added cheerily "Hey, did you know that Lily wasn't a virgin when we graduated from Hogwarts?"  
"SIRIUS!!" exclaimed Remus, who had just entered from the back yard with James while Mr. Evans entered from the kitchen.  
James was astoundingly pale and his eyes were wide open, he stammered something about time and ran out again.  
"Sirius, could you come here please?" said Remus through clenched teeth, grabbing Sirius' arm so tight that Sirius thought he was suffering his monthly transformation.  
Mr. and Ms. Evans were left in the hall while Remus dragged Sirius into the kitchen.  
"Are you completely out of your bloody mind?!" asked Remus.  
"Ow... Moony! You're hurting my delicate arm!" whined Sirius girly.  
"Sorry... but could you not ruin this?" Remus begged him.  
"Ok, but only if I can carry the rings..."  
"Fine, here they are" said Remus throwing the rings to the grinning best-man "Don't blow this, Sirius!!"  
"Don't worry, I promised Lily I wouldn't and I never break a promise to a lady!" said Sirius leaving the house. Out in the backyard, Sirius spotted his favourite teacher.  
"Minnie!"  
"Hello, Sirius, How are you?" asked Prof. McGonagall politely.  
"Better than ever, say, when is it going to be your turn?" asked Sirius "My turn for what?" enquired Prof. McGonagall.  
"To get married!" answered Sirius as if it was the most obvious thing in the planet.  
"When is it going to be yours?" she asked back.  
"Duh! When I grow up and settle down! But don't change the topic, how about you? When will you and Albie take the next step?"  
Prof. McGonagall blushed but quickly replied "When you stop calling us Minnie and Albie"  
"But we're adults now, I can't call you 'Professor', can I?"  
"Hi Professor!" waved Remus from the opposite end of the backyard. Prof. McGonagall waved back and glared at Sirius.  
"Ok, maybe I could. But that's not me! That's Remmy, I haven't called you 'professor' ever since we left Hogwarts because now you're not my professor, you're my good friend Minerva McGonagall and the best short for Minerva is Minnie" he concluded.  
"Thanks for that enlightening explanation, Sirius"  
"You're welcome, Minnie. By the way, can I ask you something?" he asked her with puppy eyes.  
"It depends... ('Come on!') well... alright" said Prof. McGonagall fearing she would regret that a little later.  
"Great! First question: You're missing us terribly, aren't you?"  
"Missing YOU?! In my class? I don't think so, it's nice to have girl's attention for a change" she answered.  
"But don't you miss any of us?" Sirius asked again "Sure, I miss Remus and Lily... but you and James..." she shook her head apologetically.  
"Don't you miss our good humour?" "Your pranks, you mean?... well, I'm most surely not supposed to say this but yes, you got used to them... It's weird not to have you around" she admitted.  
"Ha! I knew it! You can't live without us!" Prof. McGonagall was about to say something but didn't, she just smiled.  
"Next question: Have you found a nice nick for your Animagi? Because I could kindly give you some interesting ideas"  
"No, thank you"  
"How about Ms. Whiskers?"  
"No"  
"Tabby?"  
"No"  
"Meowsy?"  
"No"  
"I know! Pussy!"  
"NO, BLACK, STOP IT!" yelled Prof. McGonagall.  
"What's the matter now, Minerva?" asked Prof. Dumbledore, arriving.  
"Hey, Albie!"  
"Hello, Sirius, what have you done now?" enquired Dumbledore.  
"Nothing! I'm just asking Minnie some questions..."  
"Oh! You're interviewing people again?" asked the headmaster.  
"Yep, and I was going to ask you right after Minnie" said Sirius "Ok, you can ask him now, I want to talk to..." began Prof. McGonagall but Sirius interrupted her while grabbing her arm to make her stay.  
"No! I'm not done with you yet!" he smiled evilly. Prof. McGonagall sighed deeply.  
"Ok, I'll ask you both together... now, How old were you, Albie, when Minnie was born? You were like... twenty, weren't you? Don't you think it's quite... how could I say this kindly?... disgusting, that's the word, to see you two dating when you had already finished Hogwarts when she was still drooling over her mother's shoulder?"  
"But we're not dating!" said Prof. McGonagall exasperatedly.  
"You're not? You're just... Ew!" said Sirius "No, we..." started she but Dumbledore stopped her and slowly shook his head as Sirius was scratching his eyes furiously and whining "Ew! Bad mental image!"  
"Are you ok, Sirius?" asked Prof. Dumbledore.  
"Inhale, exhale... bunnies hopping in the green prairies... yes, I'm fine..."  
"When you are as old as we are, twenty years is nothing" said the headmaster.  
"So when we reach your age Remus could be dating... Andromeda's daughter, for example?" Sirius questioned.  
"He could"  
"Okay... if you say so... Let's change the topic, Albie, have you overcome your obsession towards lemon drops?" as Sirius was saying this, Dumbledore was taking a lemon drop from his robes. He looked at Sirius and offered "Lemon drop?" while Prof. McGonagall was shaking her head.  
"I still don't love them, Al, but thanks anyway..." replied Sirius, awkwardly.  
"How's Remus with his chocolate?" asked McGonagall concerned.  
"He's fine, but hasn't admitted it yet" answered Sirius "That's too bad" said Prof. McGonagall.  
"Ok, last question to Albie: Don't you think Minnie's Animagi needs a cool nickname?" said Sirius eyeing Prof. McGonagall from one side.  
"Oh! Look Sirius! I think James was calling you from near the cake table!" said she hurrying Sirius to go.  
"But he hasn't answered my..."  
"I SAID GO AND SEE, BLACK!!"  
"Ok... no need to get violent, see you around!" waved Sirius and headed to the cake table. Prof. McGonagall sighed deeply again.  
"I think Meowsy is nice, don't you, Minnie?"  
"Oh, shut up, Albie" finished Minerva and walked away as Dumbledore smiled.  
At that exact moment, Sirius had reached the cake table and was looking around for James. Suddenly he realised that a hand from under the table was tugging the hem of his trousers.  
Sirius lowered and looked under the table. James was crouched and hugging his knees, horror stamped in his face and fear under his hazel eyes.  
"Hey Prongs! What..." Sirius couldn't finish the sentence because James had put his hands around his throat.  
"What in this bloody world made you say THAT to Lily's folks?" asked James, his voice shaking just like him.  
"... best... man... dying!" choked Sirius while turning blue. James let him go and stared waiting for an answer.  
"I didn't know they didn't know!"  
"You didn't know?"  
"No, I didn't know!"  
"Well, they didn't know!"  
"I didn't know!"  
"I know..."  
"Know what?"  
"That you didn't know"  
"I didn't know what?"  
"Stop it, Sirius!"  
"Ok, but only because I'm scared of you now" said Sirius.  
"Wanna come in?" asked James moving aside.  
"Yeah, but let me ask you some questions"  
"Are they as dangerous as the last time?" enquired James.  
"Erm... kind of... but last time you survived!" said Sirius "You're right... I'm ready"  
Sirius grinned as he sat on the ground next to James under the table and asked "First, Have you told Lily about your son's hair problems?"  
"No, but I'll tell her"  
"When?" asked Sirius, scribbling in the notebook.  
"When she tells me she's pregnant" replied James "She's pregnant?! Weren't you two protecting yourselves?" reproached Sirius.  
"No, she's not! When she gets pregnant I'll tell her about the hair..."  
"That's what you think..." muttered Sirius "What?"  
"I said, Oh, ok..." lied Sirius "Next question, do you remember our deal?"  
"Which one?"  
"Well... obviously not the one about eating Lily's last cookie or stepping on Wormtail's tail only once a full moon each" said Sirius "Oh! The one about my child's godfather? Of course I remember! What about it?" asked James.  
"Is it still on?"  
"Yeah! If it's a boy, you'll be the godfather and..."  
"No! I'm the godfather if it's a girl!" corrected Sirius "Oh! Right, if it's a boy, it's Moony, fine with me" said James "It's fair... and I will take good care of her because we don't want any horny teenager like you to don't even let her finish school before he..."  
"Ok, Padfoot, I got it" said James before Sirius could complement his significant gestures with an inappropriate word "and don't you dare to talk like that about my unborn daughter..."  
"I won't! She's my unborn goddaughter too!" said Sirius horrified. "Hey, I'm hungry... what's over the table?" he asked while throwing his hand out trying to reach for anything that didn't move. But before James could warn him, Sirius' hand returned covered in pastry.  
"Whoops..."  
"For Merlin's beard, Sirius! You've messed the cake!"  
"No, I haven't! It's just an insignificant spot" said Sirius "Come on, help me turn the cake so the messed part will be facing the other way and no one will ever notice we were the ones who did this"  
"We?!" asked James, looking at Sirius in disbelief.  
"We, you, whatever..." said Sirius and James eyes rolled onto the sky, I mean... under part of the table.  
Both stretched both of their arms out and soon there were four hands covered in pastry.  
"See? I told you it was 'we'" said Sirius grinning.  
"Oh, shut up Padfoot! Get the cake under the table and we'll fix it in a second" said James grumpily glaring at his best man.  
Sirius crawled from under the table, and trying his best to look innocent, took his wand out and made the cake disappear with a little puff sound. He returned to under the table where James was attempting his best to keep the second and third floor from collapsing.  
"Come on! Get in before someone sees you!" said James moving to let Sirius in. But it was too late, Remus' head appeared next to Sirius.  
"Padf... Oh, no! You too, Prongs?" said Remus horrified "What are you doing to the cake??"  
"Get in, Moony!" ushered James "We must fix this before Lily notices"  
"Just like the good old days, right Marauders?" asked Sirius grinning as widely as his mouth muscles allowed him to and squishing next to James so Remus could enter.  
After just a couple of minutes Sirius got pretty bored and started playing with the little bride and groom dolls over the cake.  
"She doesn't look a lot like Lily, does she? I mean... Lily's hair is red not yellow! And could you please look at her eyes?!"  
"What about them, Padfoot?" asked Remus, not paying the slightest attention to his friend.  
"Give me a break, Rem! They're black!! If Lily's eyes were black, I'd sell Betsy to a junkyard!" almost yelled Sirius angrily.  
James took the little doll from him and touched it with his wand. Her eyes changes until they had Lily's eyes beautiful green colour.  
"Happy now?" asked James.  
"Ooh... Lemme do the hair!" cried Sirius as he was taking the bride-doll back and then touched it with his wand. Her hair become like Lily's.  
"This guy doesn't look like me either" chided James, now taking the groom-doll.  
"How about now?" he asked after he had made the doll taller, his shoulders broader and his hair black and messy. Sirius threw a bark of laughter "Keep dreaming, Prongs!" he said and touched the doll with his wand, changing everything James had done except for the hair and adding round glasses and hazel eyes. "Now, that's you" said Sirius showing him the doll and James laughed too.  
"And going back to Lily..." said Sirius smirking dangerously while taking again the bride-doll "She's way hotter than that" he said and after the touch of his wand, the doll looked... let's just say she looked like she had been a red-haired green-eyed copy of Pamela Anderson before she took her implants out.  
"Lily's not like that!" said Remus, touching the bride-doll with his wand and returning it to its real-Lily-looking way.  
"Party pooper" muttered James under his breath, putting the dolls back to their places in the fixed cake. It wasn't looking like it used to but at least the top floor weren't going to fall down... right away.  
"Nice work, Moony" praised James stretching his legs under the table after Sirius magically took the cake back to its place with dolls and everything.  
"I think the dolls were a nice touch, don't you, Prongs?" asked Sirius, when suddenly a fourth head poked under the table.  
"Ooh... a Marauder meeting!" said Peter "Can I come in?"  
"Sorry, Wormtail, but we were just about to leave" replied James while crawling out, followed by Remus and Sirius.  
"Besides the Priest will be here in any moment, now" said Remus, standing up.  
"Oh, That's what I came here to tell you!" said Peter suddenly remembering what he had to do "You have to go! He's waiting and you must wait for Lily!"  
"It's time?!" asked James, his eyes widening again fearfully "Wait! I have to go to the bathroom!" he cried an octave higher than his usual.  
"No bloody way, mate!" said Remus, seizing one of James' arms as Sirius got hold of the other.  
"What are you? A man or a rat? No offence, Wormtail" apologised Sirius quickly.  
"Non taken"  
"So? Man or mouse?" Sirius asked again holding James with Remus, who was trying to pull his way back to the house.  
"Can I have some cheese?" whined James, his feet stamped on the ground.  
"Let's move, Prongs!" pushed Remus and he and Sirius started dragging James while Peter walked tiredly beside them.  
Five minutes later, everyone was sitting except for James, who was muttering to himself '...I'm a stag, not a rat, stags don't run away, stags marry and live happily for ever after and I'm a stag not a rat...' and shivering from head to toe; the Priest and Sirius, who was looking at the notes he had taken, standing next to James.  
At that exact moment, a plump witch started playing the organ. James shivered even more. 'I'm a stag, not a rat. I'm a stag, not a rat...' he thought frantically with his eyes closed. When he opened them again, he saw a little girl walking down the aisle, carrying a bunch of lilies. 'I'm a stag, not a rat. I'm sgat, I mean a stag, not a rat...' he thought again while Aine was passing and smiling comfortingly. 'I'm a stag, not a'  
Every thought in his mind froze at the sight of Lily. He looked at his right and saw Sirius smiling at him too. Before James could even ask, Sirius answered in a whisper "Nope, mate, that's no angel... that's your Lils" James was smiling by now and couldn't stop looking at Lily.  
When the Priest was speaking, Sirius realised how perfect things were (again) and (again) he decided to do something about it. He just waited for the right time to come.  
"... and if anyone here today has a reason for why this young couple cannot be united in holy matrimony, let it speak now, or forever hold your tongue."  
James and Lily immediately looked at Sirius, like begging him to shut up. On the other hand, Remus was also looking at Sirius, but his face wasn't actually saying "Please, shut up"... It was more like an "open-your-bloody-mouth-and-I-will-bloody-kill-you" face. But the temptation was too strong and Sirius couldn't resist it.  
"Excuse me, Mr Priest... Sir?" everyone's gazes diverted to Sirius "Can I have a word with you for just a second?"  
"Does it have to be NOW, son?" he asked, politely but notoriously angry.  
"Yes, Father... otherwise it'll be too late" said Sirius, looking down.  
Everyone was staring at Sirius talking to the Priest, asking themselves what he was going to do now. After a moment, they returned to their places and the Priest asked for the rings as if nothing had happened. Sirius gave the rings to James as rehearsed, and to his best friend's and everyone's surprise, he took the Priest's place. They stared in amazement as Sirius grinned.  
"James Potter" Sirius began "Do you take this woman, Lily Evans, to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, in poverty and in wealth, till death do you part?"  
"I do" said James, looking at Sirius trying to figure out what was happening.  
"Lily Evans; Do you take this man, James Potter, to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, in poverty and in wealth, till death do you part?" asked Sirius again, now looking at Lily.  
"I do" answered Lily, awkwardly looking at Sirius too.  
He went back to his place next to James grinning while the priest took his own place back and smiling at Lily and James said "By the power invested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride..."  
James looked from the priest to Sirius and back to the priest and back to Sirius several times before he shrugged and kissed Lily tenderly making everyone else forget about that minor happening and clap at the happy couple.  
After the wedding came the feast and that was when James, Lily and Remus asked Sirius what had gone on between him and the priest.  
"Oh, that..." said Sirius "I just asked him if he could let me ask the question because you're my bestest friends ever"  
"And he just let you?" asked Lily "Well... maybe I added a little... colour to the story" admitted Sirius looking away and playing with his goblet.  
"What did you tell him?!" asked Remus now "Erm... not much, just that I was... kinda... studying to become a priest..."  
"What?" said James between surprise and laughter, although Lily was looking terrified.  
"Sirius! You can't lie to a priest!" said she "Why?" he asked, looking confused "Because it's like lying to your mother!"  
"So?" asked Sirius again, still looking confused.  
"No, hon, bad example" said James patting Lily's head as she hid her face behind her hands, sobbing.  
"It's like lying to Betsy!" quickly explained Remus "Holy sh&%$, is it that bad?" questioned Sirius truly horrified "What I can't believe is that he bought that... because you suck at lying, Padfoot" wondered Remus now more to himself than to the others.  
"But I practised!" whined Sirius "Besides... that's not all I told him..."  
"What else?" asked James still containing his laughter.  
"Nothing... hum... too far from the truth..." answered Sirius, looking away "What exactly?" asked Remus "Well... what's with all the questioning anyway?" enquired Sirius "Padfoot..." warned Remus. Sirius sighed.  
"Ok, ok... I just told him I was mortally ill, and probably wouldn't last to take my exam... but I know I was selfish, I love you two too much... I'm sorry" confessed Sirius looking at his toes. James' laughter finally popped out, with Remus' and Lily's.  
"Hey! I thought you were going to kill me or... hurt Betsy!" said Sirius "No!" said Lily "It was very sweet of you, Siri!"  
"Yes, Siri, stupid but sweet" mocked Remus, laughing "Don't be mean, Moony!" said Lily frowning at him and then turned to Sirius again, said "Thanks Padfoot" and hugged him.  
"You deserve this and more" Sirius replied hugging her back.  
"Let me handle the "more"" said James taking Lily and kissing her.  
"Hey, Mr. Best man!" called Remus, while James and Lily were kissing "Shouldn't you make a toast?"  
"Ooh... yeah! A toast!" said Sirius "Hey! May I have your attention? Here! Yes, hi... It's me, Sirius Black and I would like to make a toast... for the bride and groom, who happen to be my two best friends in the whole world, who had taught me not only about love and friendship itself, but also about respect, humility, and a little bit of cooking although I suck anyway... For Lily and James Potter, who are now taking another step into the path where their lives will continue by each other's side, for ever after... like in fairy tales!... or at least until Lily finds something better. Jamie, Lils, I really love you, guys, never ever change nor forget that I'll be there for you whenever you need me, because you deserve the best... I love you both... People! For the bride and groom!!"  
"For the bride and groom!" a hundred voices echoed and Sirius smiled, looking happier than ever. 


End file.
